Am I Weird?

Everyone is different, everyone has weird traits but what happens if you know you don’t fit in.

We had just been to McDonald’s for dinner. Not nutritious at all I know, but we were on our way to the cinema…..which costs a fortune and needed a low cost meal out beforehand and McDonald’s fit the bill. Plus all kids love McDonald’s right. Well not right actually. My son does not like McDonald’s. He absolutely hates it. There are three children in total in our house and on this particular weekend we had all three and trying to balance out making everyone happy is sometimes a mammoth task. The other kids love McDonald’s. And it wouldn’t be too bad if there was somewhere where my son loved to eat out because we would most definitely go there, but there was nowhere. He just didn’t like eating. It was a trauma for him. And me. And anyone who sat with him. How he managed at school dinners I would never know, the SENCO said he ate school dinners no problem but I knew better. When my son went to childcare nursery they told me he ate all sorts…..chicken curry, lasagne, sausages. It wasn’t until my son could speak he confessed he gave his food away or secretly put it on the floor. I expect he has come up with his own strategy for school dinners. Anyway this particular day we (me and my husband) had decided we were going to McDonald’s. It was cheap, convenient and pleased the majority. Me and my husband decided this by whispering in the kitchen to each other. We debated the best way to break the news to my son. I asked my husband to tell him, he laughed and said no chance. But I knew I wasn’t going to tell him either. I actually didn’t dare tell him. I told him we were going out for dinner and that was all. We got in the car and my daughter was questioning:

“Can we go to Pizza Hut?”
“Where are we going?”
“Can we go to McDonald’s?”

So I text her and told her we were going to McDonald’s. Yes I do conduct most of my conversations with my family via text….while we are all sat in the same room/car. It’s strange but conversing this way really helps to maintain some stability for my son and to the event that is currently happening. And so I text her and asked for her help in this situation and so she said she would tell my son where we going, and she made it sound exciting and fun and as much as she did my son was having none of it. He did not want to go to McDonald’s. What kid says no to McDonald’s. I remember taking him as a toddler and he would not eat anything. I would take some bread sticks in my bag and me and his sister would eat McDonald’s and he ate bread sticks. He didn’t actually eat any McDonald’s until he was almost 4. I have the photo of it (his first McDonald’s) because none of us could believe he had held out for so long on even trying it, he never even tried a chip. I know McDonald’s is horrible and it’s a good thing he doesn’t like it, and it is absolutely ridiculous that I have a picture of his “first McDonald’s” but I’m highlighting that disliking McDonald’s as a child seems to go against the norms.

So when we got to McDonald’s I suggested to my son that we could get our food and me and him could eat in the car. But he said no. And I understand why. He’s with a group of people who all like something (well maybe not the adults but we go with it for the kids) and he doesn’t but he wants to fit in so he tries to like it but it causes him distress. We went in and he asked for what he always gets, a plain hamburger happy meal. He ate probably 10 chips, two bites of the burger and two spoonfuls of mcflurry. And it wasn’t enjoyable for him at all. I convinced him to eat the 10 chips by telling him his chips were bigger than everyone else’s, and when I found a big chip in mine I sneakily put it in his. His burger was the main issue though. And this is because he doesn’t eat meat. I have never ever seen him eat any meat except a hamburger from McDonald’s (and can that actually be classed as meat…I’m not so sure). Anyway my son is a vegetarian of his own making. He will eat a Sunday dinner (in a fashion) but not the chicken. He once asked for fish fingers for tea and I was buzzing. But he ate everything else (beans and smiley faces) but not the fish fingers. When I asked why he said…

“I don’t like the fish fingers, they have fish in.”

Yeah son, the clue is in the name!!!

And here is the conversation we had in McDonald’s around the burger….

Him: “Do you think I should eat my burger?”
Me: “Try and have one or two bites.”
Him: “I’ll have one bite, what do you think?”
Me: “Do you want to eat the burger?”
Him: “I don’t know. What do you think?”
Me: “Are you full?”
Him: “I’m not sure, do I feel full to you?”

Do I feel full to you? What a question. How on earth would I know if he felt full and why would he think that I could tell how full he was but he was looking to me for help and all I could give him was…..

Me: “Just have one bite and then leave it.”

And that is what he did. Imagine not liking food. I can’t. I love food. So for him to not know if he wants to eat it, or to even know if he is full or not must be truly awful for him. And I really don’t know how to help him with this.

We had just left and got back in the car when he asked….

“Am I weird? I’m getting weirder, aren’t I?”

He isn’t getting “weirder” he’s just getting more aware of the fact that what he likes isn’t what other people like, and what other people like isn’t what he likes and so in society’s eyes that makes him weird. And I wanted to reassure him and tell him we are all weird because we are. So I did but I knew he wasn’t convinced at all. And it reminded me of a meme I had seen on my Instagram (thequestionsofmychild), or maybe it was on my Twitter, or x, or whatever it’s called (TheQofmyChild) which said…..

And I thought how true this was for my son. He works on a different operating system to the majority. Not better or worse, just different.  So no my son isn’t getting weirder, the operating systems are getting more and more complex by the day. And I was learning to navigate my way through having two different complex operating systems to manage in our house, making sure the two systems are at times compatible and can communicate with each other effectively. Steve Jobs might not have been able to make android and iPhone compatible but the smiles on our children’s faces showed me I was able to do it (at least some of the time anyway!!!).