Glasses and the Many Many Questions of My Child!!

For those of you who read my last post you will know that my son has needed to get glasses and seeing my son adapt to this has been quite the spectacle (!!!). Him having to wear glasses didn’t bother me, I wear glasses, my daughter has also worn glasses since being a small child and so I was prepared for the typical reaction of he didn’t want to wear glasses. My son thankfully saw things very clearly (!!!) and was into it though, he was so excited for the glasses which I was extremely pleased about. The experience of the eye test had been an eye opener (!!!)  for me also as it had gone surprisingly well despite my son having to have a dilation test where they put eye drops in and then the opticians telling me the wrong date for the second appointment and then the glasses coming with a fault on so had to be sent back. So we did have to wait a while from the first eye test to actually getting the glasses and I think this actually helped. It gave my son lots of time to get prepared for wearing the glasses. In fact at one point he said “I just want to get my glasses over and done with” so I knew there would be no reluctance about wanting to wear them. He had told everyone at school about them and another child who wore glasses started calling him her twin. And so I felt confident that this would be smooth. But as with everything with my son the typical dramas that you plan and prepare for as a parent aren’t required, it’s the untypical I should always prepare for. How short sighted of me!!

And this started straight away as soon as we got to the opticians to pick up the glasses. We went in and my son was asked to sit in the “collections” chair which he did. Completely focused (!!!) he immediately stood up and turned me around so that I was facing the wall. He said…

“You aren’t allowed to look until we get home.”

And surprisingly he dealt with the optician all by himself. He tried the glasses on, waited until they were adjusted for his ears and nose, he picked his own glasses case from a choice of three, he picked his own cleaning cloth all while I stood facing the wall!! We left and once we got to the car I asked if he could put them on and could I take a photo. He said….

“No, think about the background Mam, we don’t want the car in the background.”

And that surprised me too – I never even thought he would ever consider that. We finally got home, and he put them on, took them straight off again and then put them on again. And that’s when I realised, he really wanted to wear them, but the reality of wearing them was different. And I knew this would take time. Like everything we did. So I prepared myself. And the first question came…..

Him: “Why do they feel odd on my head?”
Me: “Its like when you get a new pair of shoes, they feel tight and uncomfortable until the shoes get used to your feet. Your head and eyes need to get used to your glasses.”

And the glasses came off. But he didn’t put them away he carried them. They were in the glasses case, and out the glasses case, he cleaned them, he put them back in, he tried them on again and then took them off. After a while he put them in the case and put the case on his bedside table. And throughout the course of the evening he kept going to check on them and cleaning them. At bedtime he said he wanted to read his school book to me……this was strange, this NEVER happened. And before he started reading he cleaned his glasses…..again….and then put them on to read. While he was reading to me he was touching the glasses, checking they were around his ears, he pulled them down off his nose then pushed them back up. He took them off and put them back on. Over and over again until we got to the end of the book. He set them aside on his bedside table and got ready for sleep. I could see he kept checking the glasses were still there. And he went to sleep…dreaming about glasses I’m sure.

In the middle of the night he woke up as usual and shouted me. When I went in he said he needed the toilet and he picked up his glasses and went for a wee while holding the glasses in his hands. He went back to bed and put the glasses on his bedside table. This was fascinating me.

The next morning as soon as he woke up he picked up the glasses and he took them with him to the sofa where he ate breakfast. He kept opening up the case and checking the glasses were there. It was certainly a process he was going through.

He ate his breakfast with the glasses case open and we then went back to get dressed – the glasses came with him. He got dressed and we set off for school. He travelled all the way to school with the glasses case on his knee, the glasses in his right hand and the cleaning cloth in his left hand. We got our parking spot and he cleaned them again. He put them on…..and the questions started…..

“Can I run with them on?”

“Will they make my head change shape?”

“I can see the bottom of the glasses, can you when you wear your glasses?”

“I can see the top of the glasses, can you when you wear your glasses?”

“Do I look cool in them?”

“Do I look goofy in them?”

Do you recognise me in them? You don’t recognise me do you?”

“Nobody at school is going to recognise me, are they?”

“Wow why did everything get bigger?”

We got out the car and he took them off again. I had put the case and cleaning cloth in his book bag so he couldn’t clean them. So he put them back on, looked at me, pulled them down his nose to look at me without them, pushed them back up his nose and said….

“You are absolutely ginormous, Mam.”

And he looked around at the world like seeing it for the first time, everything suddenly became crystal clear to him. We got to the school gates with him wearing them and as soon as we got through the gates he took them off and said…

“I’m just going to hold them for a while, is that ok?”

I of course said that was fine and we walked to the playground. Surprisingly we were first – this hadn’t happened for a long long time. We used to be first all the time but that situation moved on and now we were lucky if we were there on time. As soon as he saw other children coming from his class he put them on. And their parents made a big fuss of him and he lapped it up. And I knew the glasses would stay on for now at least. He kept touching them but wandered off with his friends, after a few minutes he came running back in a panic…..

Him: “Are my ears still on?”
Me: “Yes of course”
Him: “So my glasses are still on?”
Me: “Yes”
Him: “Is my nose sticking out the glasses?”

I could see the other parents laugh (not in a bad way just in a this is funny way).

Me: “Yes your nose is sticking out”
Him: “So my glasses are still on?”
Me: “Yes your glasses are still on.”

And finally the bell went – we did our new routine of 5 kisses followed by Love you five times then he went up the stairs, he touched his glasses, he got to the door and turned and waved. I waved back and breathed out and he wandered into the classroom where I saw him touch his glasses once more before I left.

And that is the story of the first day of the glasses. And watching my son with his glasses filled me with so much emotion. I loved him so much and all I wanted was for him to be happy in this world and in order for me to help with that I needed to view the world through his eyes. And in order to do that I needed to go through all these things with him. Although he was my second child I was experiencing all these experiences for the first time again as they were so different. I may not always get it right but with each experience we went through together it helped me to see things more clearly!