Is being a parent hard?

We were in our living room and I was on the countdown to bedtime. It had been a good day, although my son had been a bundle of energy all day, flitting from one thing to another and I was tired…..it was a good tired. These days are long but I would take them over the agitated and unsettled days any day of the week. About ten minutes before bedtime my son stood up and asked if we could play a game, I must have rolled my eyes because he then asked…….

“Is being a parent hard?”

And I laughed. I really laughed. Because by god was being a parent hard. Being a parent has been, and continues to be the hardest thing I have ever done. I looked at him and said…

“Yes but its also a lot of fun.”

He then surprised me and asked….

“Do you have to be multi skilled to be a parent?”

Multi skilled? Where on earth had he got that phrase from?!? I thought about it for a second and I answered…

“Most definitely.”

And on that night I reflected on his questions. Being a parent was hard there was no denying that but over the last few years I had realised how hard parenting could become.  The last couple of months, from Christmas through January and February, have been some of the toughest we’ve faced. My son has struggled—barely making it to school, resisting showers and teeth brushing, eating very little. He has been stressed, sad, and deeply unsettled. Watching your child struggle with daily life is one of the most painful experiences as a parent, the worry I have for him is huge, and not one I can just set to one side. It’s not just a rough patch—it’s consistent, ongoing, and exhausting.

Over February half term though the cloud lifted and it felt like his mental capacity for day to day life came back a little. I have laughed with him and we have had so much fun. He finally allowed me to move his pile of Christmas presents, he started eating better and he started more regularly self care routines. And better than all of that he just seemed so much happier, and his infamous questions started coming again. I thought they had disappeared forever and I was going to have to write a blog called The Questions of My Child without any questions from my child. But it is like his mind is back, and there have been lots of questions. Lots. The list I keep in my phone is growing by the day. Infact I struggled to pick my favourite question for this weeks blog because there have been so many but when he asked this question I knew this was the one.

So yes, parenting is hard so very hard and it keeps on getting harder and harder.

And as I reflected on my son’s second question, I realised just how multi-skilled I had become. I mean without blowing my own trumpet I was always pretty skilled at lots of things…..(expect maybe ironing, I don’t iron. And I am rubbish at washing up but we cant be good at everything can we?!) but over the last couple of years I had really upskilled. Really upskilled.

• I’ve become a master of paperwork – Forms, applications, reports—I can fill them out with my eyes closed.
• I can talk for hours about autism, ADHD, and PDA – Ask me anything, and I’ll probably have a well-researched answer (or at least a strong opinion!).
• I’ve learned the law inside out – I know my son’s rights, and I will make sure no one oversteps them.
• I’ve started using words like ‘ableist’ and actually knowing what they mean – Because understanding the language of advocacy matters.
• I’ve learned how to fight for my son – I’ve had to be firm, push back, and not accept ‘no’ as an answer when it comes to getting him what he needs.
  • I’ve built emotional resilience – Because this parenting journey is HARD, and I’ve had to develop a thick skin.
• I’ve levelled up my time management – There are never enough hours in the day, but somehow, we fit it all in..
• I’ve learned to be flexible – Plans change, routines get thrown out the window, and I’ve had to learn to roll with it.
• I’ve become an expert problem-solver – Every day brings new challenges, and I’ve learned to think on my feet.
• I’ve realised self-care isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity – Because if I burn out, I’m no good to anyone.
• I’ve built a support network – I know now that I don’t have to do this alone, and I’ve found people who get it.
• I’ve become pretty good at negotiating – Whether it’s convincing my son to try something new or advocating at school, I know how to find middle ground.
• I’ve learned patience like never before – The slow progress, the setbacks, the endless waiting—it’s all part of the journey.
• I’ve deepened my understanding of mental health – Because I now see how much it ties into everything my son experiences.

And all of this? It’s alongside parenting my neurotypical child, working, and running a household. There are days when I have no idea how I get through it all. Days where I’ve sat crying into my laptop, overwhelmed by everything required of me, and yet, little by little, step by step, I make it to the end of the day, crawl into bed, and wonder how I did it. I do do most of it with the help of my family infact there are many many days which I couldn’t get through without the help of my family so shout-out to them, you know who you are, who look after me after I’m a wreck from looking after my son.

So, is being a parent hard?

Absolutely. It’s relentless, exhausting, and sometimes overwhelming. But in between the struggles, there are moments like this—where the weight lifts, the questions return, and laughter fills the house again.

And that’s why, even on the hardest days, my answer will always be the same:

Yes, being a parent is hard. But it’s also a lot of fun.