Is God real?

Over the last couple of weeks the questions have been back. We have had some great questions and it didn’t surprise me when my son asked me the biggest question he had ever asked me, a question which is one of the most frequently asked philosophical and religious questions in history. It is googled more than 200 times per second apparently, amounting to 17 million inquiries every day so it is no surprise at all that my son, the most inquisitive and deep thinking boy I have ever had the pleasure of being around asked me…

“Is God real?”

I should have known this was coming. Religion seemed to play a part in my son’s life – I have no idea why but ever since learning about Jesus and the Resurrection in Year 1 he seemed to periodically ask about religion and talk about it. More so than anything else he had learnt at school. And I would be lying if I didn’t say I was worried about it. Every so often he seemed fixated on it. It could just be an interest of his, he could just be curious about it because it doesn’t really make sense and you have to take a lot of it as faith but he didn’t ask this many questions about Santa or the Tooth Fairy both of which require a lot of faith to believe in them.

I wasn’t quite sure how to answer his question to be honest. I don’t know what I believe, I believe in something, a higher power but God as people are taught about it from the Bible – I’m not sure about that. I would like to read the bible one day but is it the sort of book you can read from front to end? I’m not sure on that. Maybe I will give it a whirl one day.

To believe in God requires faith, and lately, my faith has been depleted. For months, I have prayed…..at night, when I couldn’t sleep, in sheer desperation, after trying everything else. I prayed that we would have a good morning, that my son would wake up happy, willing, and able to go to school. But morning after morning, my prayers seemed unanswered. And with each difficult morning, my faith faded further.

Some would say God did answer, just not in the way I expected. That he gave me the strength to keep going. Because somehow, I have kept going. Somehow, as a family, we have made it through the last few months. At the time, I couldn’t see it, but looking back, I realise I did have faith…..faith in something bigger than myself. It just didn’t look the way I thought it would.

Faith isn’t just about believing in God….faith exists in different forms. I have faith that we will get through this. I have faith that in ten years, no one will care about my son’s attendance record….because, honestly, who ever asks for that number once school is over? Absolutely no one. I have faith that with the right support, my son will thrive. I have faith that, after months of consistency, of carefully meeting his needs, I can see him becoming more settled. And most of all, I have faith in myself……that I am doing the absolute best I can. No one can take that away from me. Ever.

But my son wasn’t asking what I believed….he wanted an answer. A simple yes or no answer. But I couldn’t give him that.

So, I told him the truth. As I see it.

“Some people believe God is real. Others don’t. Nobody knows for sure, because there’s no way to prove it. That’s why it’s called faith.”

He was quiet for a while after that.

And then, as children do, he moved on to something else….some other big question, some other deep thought.

But I know he’ll come back to it one day. And maybe, one day, I’ll pick up the Bible and give it a read…so I’m ready.