This is a question I have asked myself over and over again. Throughout this journey, I’ve dealt with a selection of professionals, and I’ve been completely shocked by the incompetence — and in some cases, the outright lies — I’ve encountered.
This isn’t me being unfair. I truly believe I’m a fair, level-headed person. I try to look objectively at every situation. I’ve even learned to remove emotion where needed. And yet, when I take a step back and look at what’s happened… all I can do is ask:
Why?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Why can’t professionals get this right?
Why can’t/won’t they help us?
Why am I dismissed time and time again?
Why am I not heard?
Why is my son not heard?
This isn’t about every professional we’ve worked with — there have been a few good ones. But sadly, they are the exception, not the rule.
The Meeting That Broke Me
What prompted this blog post is the minutes from an Attendance Support Meeting I attended… in February. The Education Welfare Officer (EWO) said she would circulate the minutes afterwards. So I waited.
And waited. And waited.
After 3 weeks, I sent a polite email chasing them. I also asked for the date of the next meeting, which hadn’t been confirmed.
The very next day, I bumped into her at school. She said she was “just about to email me” (of course she was!!) and blamed admin for the delay. She added that the next meeting’s date and time were “in the minutes,” so I’d find out when I received them. The irony. I nodded and said “OK” — but inside, I was fuming. These conversations always seem to happen in person, never in writing and then nobody can be held accountable for them.
And so, I waited again. Three more weeks passed… and finally, I received a paper copy of the minutes through the post. Yes, a paper copy. What century are we in?
The Minutes Were Wrong
The minutes were missing a date, didn’t list who they were shared with, and most importantly — they didn’t reflect what happened in that meeting.
The main outcome — that school would apply for a reduced timetable — wasn’t even in the action list. In fact, the action list contained things that weren’t even agreed.
Was I going mad?
This person holds power over whether I face prosecution… and can’t even record basic facts accurately. Is this a mistake or is this deliberate?
Now I can forgive mistakes. I make them. We all do. But this wasn’t a small oversight. These were glaring errors. So, on a child-free night, I spent it drafting a careful, factual email listing what was wrong and what needed amending.
Why does it have to be this hard?
The Cycle I Know Too Well
And this isn’t a one-off. I have many stories like this. Each time, I go through the same cycle:
- Deflation. That heavy feeling in your chest. The tears you hold back.
- Rising. You dig deep — again — to write the email, correct the narrative, make your voice heard.
- Hope. You send it, feel strong, feel proud.
- Dread. Then comes the wait. And the sickness. And the emotional drain all over again when you get your reply.
It’s relentless. And yes — it’s a rollercoaster.
The Response? Or Lack of One
After four weeks from sending that email requesting amendments I hadn’t had a response, so I followed it up again, copying in the EWO’s office email address in the hope that this would prompt her. The next day I finally got a reply.
She said the minutes can’t be changed. Why? Because apparently it was “just an informal meeting” and doesn’t require the level of detail I requested. But I’m not asking for detail. I’m asking for facts.
And the facts are:
- The minutes include things never discussed.
- The minutes exclude key things that were discussed.
- The minutes are wrong.
Why?????
It gets worse. After that email, I replied again. I said it made me uncomfortable that incorrect minutes couldn’t be amended and I’d like to raise this at the next meeting. Surely all parties need to agree the minutes. The meeting was scheduled for Tuesday at 1:30pm. It ruined my weekend. Honestly all weekend (my birthday weekend too) it weighed heavy on me, I hardly slept, I could have cried at any point. I was sick with worry. I knew I’d have to challenge her — and I would. But then…
At 09:07 on the day of the meeting, I received an email.
She said she was cancelling the meeting…..Because, in her words, “you remain dissatisfied.”
Let that sink in.
Not to resolve the issue.
Not to address concerns.
Not to collaborate.
But to cancel.
And in that moment — I felt everything. Elation that I didn’t have to go. Disbelief that I didn’t have to go. Anger — deep, simmering anger — about those minutes. And then something close to hysteria. I had to go outside and just pace. Round and round in a circle. Trying to process the chaos in my head.
Because I remained dissatisfied. Surely that’s the very reason to keep the meeting in — not cancel it? And so, I ask once again…
Why?
If You’ve Read This Far…
Thank you.
This blog post is my way of saying: if you’re going through something similar — you are not alone.
It shouldn’t be this hard. But for so many of us, it is. And in case you were wondering I did reply to her cancellation email and requested that the meeting go ahead…..and here we are 2 days later and there is no response.
But we keep going anyway.
Because our children deserve nothing less.
The Questions of My Child 
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