The Questions of My Child

Parenting a PDA child can be challenging. Find advice, tips, and personal experiences to support your journey every step of the way.


Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

a drawing of a mans head symbolising philosophy

Child: Are we in real life? Me: Yes, where else would we be? Child: Not in real life? Me: Well we are in real life so you don’t need to worry. Child: But how do you know? Me: Well…….

This question came out of the blue while we were sat in a local cafe having a coffee and a snack after a bike ride. It had obviously been preying on his mind, and given my lack of a suitable way of explaining how I knew we were in real life it has continued to prey on his mind……and mine!!! How do we know we are in real life? I have never been asked the question before but quite clearly other people have wondered the same thing. The late great Freddie Mercury wrote the below lyrics as the first line of Bohemian Rhapsody. What a song!!! And quite clearly my son is on the same page as Freddie Mercury!!

“Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?”

Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody

Not only had Freddie Mercury had the same thought as my son, but many great philosophers have posed the same question. After a bit of research I found a whole hypothesis around this question. The simulation hypothesis proposes that all of existence is a simulated reality, such as computer simulation. I couldn’t quite believe it. My son was asking questions that philosopher’s have created a whole hypothesis around.

Although an excellent question it did make me second guess things. Was I in real life? Was this just fantasy? And who was my son going to be, is this a sign he is going to be as talented as Freddie Mercury or a great philosopher. Who knows?!? I do know that my son is only 5 years old. What 5 year old wonders about whether we are real life and asks the question. The lines between real and imaginary are blurred at this age and they both overlap with each other. Children take this at face value and roll with but not my son. He needed to know the difference between real life and not real life. I thought about telling him to pinch himself if he wasn’t sure and if the pinch hurt then he was definitely in real life. However I thought against it as imagined him to be constantly pinching himself.

Despite my research I still wasn’t sure how to answer the question as to how we can tell whether we are in real life or not and so I said nothing and hoped that he would work it out by himself. Work what out though…..I am not exactly sure because I am not sure how to tell whether we are in real life or not.

Answers on a postcard please…..or in the comments section below. How do you know you are in real life?



4 responses to “Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?”

  1. I can’t point to a specific verse in the Bible to answer your child’s question, but in the end, I have discovered that everything in it makes sense because it’s true–and that includes my existence. Beyond that mere fact, in the Bible we have incredible accounts of God working in people’s lives–and I have seen Him working in my own life as well.

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  2. And also the pinch might not hurt enough to be real/to register.

    One way we know that real life is real is because of change.

    [We also know that time moves this way].

    Then there is the whole phenomena of lucid dreaming where people put in tests to see that they are in fact dreaming.

    One of the tests is about liquid clocks.

    Another is about symmetrical bodies.

    One less hurtful thing is to squeeze one finger against another.

    Thumb and forefinger, for instance.

    Also I know that life is real when I have sleep in my eyes.

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  3. […] Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? […]

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  4. […] in his head. Not only that but for a long, long time my son would query about real life or not (Is this the real life?) which suggests to me that the line between internal focus and external focus is completely blurred […]

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