Is Education a Cult? A Parent’s Awakening

This week it’s me asking the questions again with this question slowly forming in my mind over the last few months. As I reflect on my family’s experiences, it feels as though I’m finally breaking free from a cult…..finally seeing the light. And now, I can’t help but question…..

“Is education (as we know it) a cult?”

I am firmly starting to believe it is. Of course, schools aren’t literal cults. But the parallels between how they enforce conformity, control behaviour, and limit options for those who don’t fit the mould are striking. It may seem extreme but let me explain….

I loved school growing up. I thrived in the structure, the learning, even the social rules and routines. I went all the way…..A-Levels, an undergraduate degree, a master’s degree, and even a Level 3 apprenticeship later in life. I was the ideal follower, wholeheartedly buying into the system because it worked for me. But what if it doesn’t work for you? What happens to the kids who don’t enjoy it or struggle to fit in?

When my daughter started school, I was relieved. It felt like she was where she belonged….learning, making friends, thriving. Then when Covid hit and the schools closed down I was devastated. I remember thinking….

“She’s going to be so far behind compared to other children who went to school all the time.”

Behind what, though? Who decides where “behind” is and what being “ahead” even looks like?

And when do we ever use what we learn at school in real life? Algebra, chemistry experiments, Shakespeare critiques—none of these have ever made an appearance in my adult life. Yet I bought into the panic. I convinced myself that she needed to “catch up” because that’s what we’re conditioned to believe. This is the first parallel to a cult: we follow without questioning, even when the rules don’t make sense.

My daughter is now in year 11 and about to take her GCSEs. And she hates doing exams. And I can see why, they literally are just a memory test. Why are exams used as a measure of how much you know? Who decided this was appropriate? There are some subjects she struggles with and one of them is Maths so I have got a maths tutor to come to the house to help her achieve a pass at her maths exam. Because that is what we are indoctrinated to believe. You MUST get a pass at Maths and English. Yes I believe there needs to be a basic understanding of Maths and English but why does that need to be measured with a formal exam testing you on things like algebra and line gradients and long division. Things that I have never needed as an adult ever. Yet here I am feeding into it by getting a maths tutor to come to the house to make sure that my daughter does get that pass because that is what we are told needs to happen.

And now I have my son who hates school as it is. He hates the environment of school. He hates the length of time he has to be at school. And there’s no other option is there. Why is that? I am aware that there are specialist provisions that may be better suited to my son’s needs, and there is EOTAS (Education Other Than At School) but these aren’t options that are offered as standard, they are only offered if you have been diagnosed with complex/additional needs. What about the people who don’t have a formal diagnosis yet really, really struggle with school. There is no other option. Other than home schooling of course. But that’s a tough thing to take on when you work as well. Are there any other non traditional options to traditional schools that are readily accessible? If you know of any please let me know.

So there are no other options and your child is struggling, not just struggling I mean really really struggling so you decide not to send your child. You decide to keep them at home for their own sake. But, and here we have the big but its been made illegal to not attend school.

Illegal.

So, my only option is send my son to school which causes who knows how much mental distress and carnage for him OR become a criminal and break the law. Those are my options. Fit in or face punishment. Isn’t that the essence of a cult? Well bake me a cake and put me a file in it because I’m ending up in prison!!!

Even attendance has become a weapon. Fixed Penalty Notices for missed school days, attendance-based rewards like prom tickets and ice skating….this is how the system controls families. Not only that but my daughter’s school has started sending out these emails……

Is that the most patronising, ableist email ever. Let me repeat that last line….

”Thank you for all you do to ensure your child’s success!”

So, is that implying that if your child hasn’t had 100% attendance that week they aren’t going to be successful? I’d like to see and read the research behind that statement. What about the kids that can’t attend school. Are they not going to be successful in life?

I’m ashamed to say I have in the past bought in to this mentality. I would have received that email in the past and felt proud of myself that I had contributed to my daughter’s success. Now looking back, I can’t believe that I have done that. Because what does success look like? Who is measuring success? Is it how happy you are? Is it how much money you have? Is it getting that pass in GCSE Maths? The reality is success takes many different forms, it’s completely subjective. So how can anyone measure success.  

The conformity that is required in school too is very cult like…..everyone must wear the same, everyone must follow a set of rules and procedures – even if those rules don’t suit you. For example you must sit at a table when they tell you to, you are only allowed to eat when they tell you to, and if you aren’t feeling great and think you are going to throw up you cant go home unless they actually see you vomit (yes that is the policy at my son’s school).

The cult spreads to home too…we are also told we have to do school work at home. My son is 6 he currently gets a set of spellings every week to learn, a reading book to read AND he gets one piece of homework every week. As if 6 hours a day, 5 days a week isn’t enough schoolwork we have to do more at home. There are rewards for completing homework too……prizes for finishing 10 reads, gold stars for learning spellings. This doesn’t create a love of learning. It creates obedience. We reward children for completing tasks we’ve assigned them, not for discovering their own passions or learning at their own pace. Does this create intrinsic motivation, or does it teach them that their worth lies in compliance and obedience?

The parallels to cult behaviour are undeniable. Schools enforce strict rules and punish noncompliance. They define success narrowly and demand unwavering loyalty to the system. They even infiltrate our homes, dictating how we spend our evenings and weekends. And like a cult, they convince us that it’s all for our own good.

I’m not saying education should be abolished. Education is essential. But it doesn’t have to function like this. It doesn’t have to rely on rigid rules, outdated assessments, and the constant pressure to conform. We need more flexibility, more options, and more compassion in our approach to learning. Education shouldn’t feel like an oppressive system where the rules are unyielding and the penalties harsh. It should feel like a place of growth and opportunity. A place where individuality is celebrated, not suppressed.

It’s time to break free from the cult of traditional schooling. Imagine an education system where every child, regardless of their needs or interests, is supported to grow in their unique way. Where learning is about igniting passions, not just completing tasks. Where the rules are flexible, and the child, not the system, is at the centre.

Who is with me?